LIMBER GYM is a representation.

LIMBER GYM has been well researched and comes with many impeccable references.

LIMBER GYM is furnished to a modest standard with devices for self-improvement.

LIMBER GYM will be decorated throughout with meanings of the highest quality.

A great deal of attention has been paid to the installation of fixtures and fittings.

LIMBER GYM is a serious attempt to lose weight by looking. This exercise in style over content allows form and content to tussle in a friendly manner.

LIMBER GYM multi-tasks: it exercises itself, attempting to reveal ‘meaning’ as decoration whilst confronting the concept that art is ‘sophisticated pointing’ undermined only by inexpert practitioners and receivers who misrepresent. Multi-tasking facilities are not provided: members are expected to provide their own.

All intellectual exercises are to be discouraged. Justification machines are not provided and anyone trying to explain themselves will be made to do strenuous workouts.

There will be examples of experimental works carried out by some of our members and posters in pointing to help beginners.

LIMBER GYM has a special area devoted to ‘no questions, no answers, no explanations’ where clients can exercise their imagination. This area is only open at the weekends: dedicated to anyone who has difficulty taking time off work. Any questions raised about identity and gender will result in exclusion from the Gym, as will any reference to French philosophy or the ‘Arcades Project’.

LIMBER GYM has exclusive use of a ‘tent of self-consciousness’ where students can experience at first hand the pitfalls of exercising what is called ‘the personal’ and expressing themselves too strenuously which may cause harm. Here you learn that certain subjects, such as ‘The cat being sick on the table’, are not suitable for treatment.

LIMBER GYM is committed to open access: there will be something for everyone signing up but only on three days a week due to current economic conditions.

LIMBER GYM is committed to advancement of the theory of perfection and has set aside resources to provide for this. Suitable applicants will be encouraged to apply for one of the following chairs. It is recommended they are viewed in advance of an application.

LIMBER GYM has two resident ‘Dieties’ who gave us our motto ‘EAT FRUIT’.

They are the ‘original orchard thieves’ referred to by H. Melville.

LIMBER GYM is a shop where you can look but you cannot buy. There is also a library but no catalogue or Librarian.

Celebration of celebrity is part of the experience: LIMBER GYM believes that fame and notoriety are virtually guaranteed. *

LIMBER GYM is based on the premise that we are accessorised and civilised.

LIMBER GYM has the will to be.

The management reserves the right to exclude members of the public for whom this experience may be inappropriate on the grounds of health and safety. The management also disclaims any responsibility for the distress caused to anyone becoming aware of pointlessness.

*The management accepts no liability for failure.